New PDF release: A Working Musician's Joke Book

By Daniel Theaker, Mike Freen

ISBN-10: 092015123X

ISBN-13: 9780920151235

Daniel Theaker's A operating Musician's comic story booklet is a compilation of the funniest and hottest track jokes this day. From groaners to intestine busters, those jokes relatively replicate the attitudes and personalities of people that make song for a dwelling.

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Additional resources for A Working Musician's Joke Book

Example text

Much effort was absorbed in the playing of 16th notes. This seems to be an excessive refinement. It is recommended that all notes be rounded up to the nearest quarter note. If this were done, it Page 60 would be possible to use trainees and lower-grade operatives more extensively. There seems to be too much repetition of some musical passages. Scores should be drastically pruned. No useful purpose is served by repeating on the horns a passage which has already been played on the strings. It is estimated that if all redundant passages were eliminated, the whole concert time of two hours could be reduced to 20 minutes, effectively cancelling the intermission.

A 38-ounce bottle. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! " Page 86 Folk Music What is the difference between a violin and a fiddle? Nobody minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. What is the definition of an optimist? A folksinger with a mortgage. What is the difference between a folksinger and a puppy? Eventually the puppy stops whining. Military Music What do you get when you run an army officer over with a steamroller? A-flat major. Why does an Air Force drummer have a half-ounce more brains than the captain's horse?

Bach have 20 children? His organ didn't have any stops. What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ. What is worse than a dead skunk on your piano? An infected beaver on your organ. Page 16 Why doesn't heaven have a pipe organ? Because they needed the keys in hell to make accordians. Why are organists similar to a broken-winded carriage horse? They are always longing for another stop. How many organists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to complain that the switch doesn't have any combination pistons.

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A Working Musician's Joke Book by Daniel Theaker, Mike Freen

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