By Brian Thacker
Brian Thacker, bus tour-leader extraordinaire, tells it the way it rather is during this humorous, rollicking, absurd, experience via Europe.
Crew handbook Rule No. five : staff mustn't ever have interaction in sexual intercourse on board the bus with passengers or fellow employees.
Crew handbook Rule No.2 : examine all names on day one.
Crew guide Rule No.3 : don't get lost.
But then, who follows the rules?
Brian Thacker confesses all as he finds the easiest (and worst) of 20 journeys as a travel chief round Europe. He tells how he fed passengers horse meat spag bathroom, hamburgers made up of breakfast cereal and roosters' testicles. How he left a passenger status via the part of a dual carriageway in France for 3 hours in his lingerie clutching a pink toothbrush and the way, alongside the best way, he misplaced his driving force, his prepare dinner, his bus, 10 brightly colored canal motorcycles, a wide church and finally his persistence.
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Additional resources for Rule No. 5: No Sex on the Bus: Confessions of a Tour Leader
Or two flags, if we were really mad! Big ones, up from, so we could feel like Rommel in his staff car, speeding to meet the Fuehrer. For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. ” I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan. Now, is there anything wrong with flags? Of course not. I like the flag plenty, hut I never forget it’s only a symbol, a reminder of what we stand for, not a replacement for actually standing for it.
Passengers should find all the evidence of equal inspection reassuring,” Mineta said. Reassuring? It’s reassuring to know that the people guarding our jugular have decided on a policy of suspending human judgment? Actually, having robots and nitwits check everyone equally is a sure recipe for disaster. It’s a mindless, exploitable system of window dressing and posturing; it’s procedure-bound automatons following prescribed guidelines by rote. It’s randomness when we need focus. It’s heads up asses when we need heads up.
Soldiers living on or near the base in America often need to use food stamps to get by. ” “No money in the budget”—we hear that, shrug, and go on, as if it’s a cosmically unalterable fact. Corporations do it with their budgets, too. I’ve seen it in show business. One day, no more coffee and doughnuts for the crew. “The Budget” didn’t allow it anymore, like “The Budget” was handed down by God himself and brought directly from heaven on a golden chariot by those bastards who pulled their ads from my show, Federal Express.
Rule No. 5: No Sex on the Bus: Confessions of a Tour Leader by Brian Thacker