Download e-book for iPad: The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans and Bands by Henry Owings

By Henry Owings

ISBN-10: 1594748160

ISBN-13: 9781594748165

Like Moses providing forth the 10 Commandments, Chunklet journal provides you with The Rock Bible—the entire ideas for residing an actual lifetime of rock 'n' roll. listed here are hundreds and hundreds of clever and witty directions for:

Drummers: "If you're a type of drummers who units up on the entrance of the degree, again the hell up. you're the goalies of rock; play your position."

Singers: "When you are feeling like stage-diving, first ensure the humans within the entrance like your song adequate to trap you."

Guitarists: "No one's taking a look at your guitar strap. Don't ever spend greater than the price of a regular meal on anything that may be changed via a very hearty piece of string."

Keyboardists: "There's just one one that will glance extra ridiculous and offensive in leather-based pants than the lead singer: the keyboard player."

Onstage Antics: "Being wasted onstage works for under approximately five percentage of bands, and yours isn't certainly one of them."

Fans: "Fans that gown just like the band are only asking to be pummeled. on the way to be within the band that badly, it's possible you'll to boot deliver your equipment to the express and play alongside from the audience."

And unholy phrases on a lot, even more.

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Extra info for The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans and Bands

Example text

A POTATO WALKS INTO A BAR on him! 50 and all eyes are IT TAKES ALL SORTS AN ENGLISHMAN, AN IRISHMAN, A SCOTSMAN, A RABBI, A MINISTER AND A PRIEST WALK and the bartender says, ‘What is this? ’ INTO A BAR On the stool next to his is some footwear. ’ A CANADIAN MAN WALKS INTO A BAR. ’ A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to sip one, then the next, and then the third until they’re gone. ’ The man says, ‘You don’t understand. I have two brothers: one in Australia, and one in the States.

Finishing his drink, he turns to face the guy playing the piano, takes out his gun, shoots the sheet music into the air, shoots the man’s hat off and finally shoots the lid which falls down, trapping the poor man’s fi ngers. He spins the gun and puts it back in its holster. A COWBOY WALKS INTO A BAR ‘Brilliant shooting,’ says the bartender. ’ Another flashy spin brings the gun into the bartender’s hands. ’ asks the cowboy. ’ says the bartender. ’ 28 and hurts his knee. What was that bar doing sticking up out of the ground?

49 with a pork pie on his head. ’ replies the man. A POTATO WALKS INTO A BAR on him! 50 and all eyes are IT TAKES ALL SORTS AN ENGLISHMAN, AN IRISHMAN, A SCOTSMAN, A RABBI, A MINISTER AND A PRIEST WALK and the bartender says, ‘What is this? ’ INTO A BAR On the stool next to his is some footwear. ’ A CANADIAN MAN WALKS INTO A BAR. ’ A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to sip one, then the next, and then the third until they’re gone. ’ The man says, ‘You don’t understand.

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The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans and Bands by Henry Owings


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