Download e-book for kindle: Uncle John's Presents: The Book of the Dumb (Uncle John by John Scalzi

By John Scalzi

ISBN-10: 1592231497

ISBN-13: 9781592231492

In each box of human activity, there are humans, issues, and ideas that rank one of the best mankind has ever produced—the Book of the Dumb isn't approximately any of that. This quantity from Uncle John’s toilet Reader teaches us one useful lesson: by no means underestimate the ability of human stupidity.

Since 1987, the lavatory Readers’ Institute has led the flow to face up if you happen to sit and skim within the toilet (and all over the place else for that matter). With greater than eleven million books in print, the Uncle John’s rest room Reader sequence is the longest-running, most well-liked sequence of its type on this planet. the place else may you discover such a lot of examples of the worst principles, so much regrettable utterances, and largest crackpot theories within the fields of artwork, technological know-how, politics, activities, leisure, and extra? Uncle John principles the realm of humor and all issues ridiculous, so prepare to be completely entertained. learn all about…

Crashes…on Mars
Vegetable-flavored Jell-O
Land wars fought through the winter…in Russia
And a lot more!

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If I could only cultivate some small success, a minor triumph or two, I felt, he might be persuaded the farm could still work. My mother had her own doubts about my decision but was vastly more encouraging. It had been, after all, her side of the family through which the farm had passed hands. On my father’s side, steady, predictable jobs had been the norm: shopkeeper, chemist, government contractor. In contrast, on my mother’s side, it had been six straight generations of farmers. If I were somehow able to follow in their footsteps, I would be the seventh farmer in the family to work the land, dating from just after the American Revolution.

If I could somehow make the farm profitable once again, it would give me a legitimate reason to remain on the land I had grown to love. The Shenandoah Valley, where my ancestors settled, is famous for its natural beauty. Stretching from Roanoke to Harpers Ferry, the valley is roughly forty miles across, bounded by the Blue Ridge Mountains on the east and the West Virginia border to the west. The land is softly sculpted with wooded hillsides, and the Shenandoah River winds serenely through the lush valley bottom.

Who would have been able to tell, even if it had? Shrink-wrapped, cartoned, frozen and freeze-dried, it had been trundled and bundled, bagged and tagged into anonymity. The aisles and shelves were filled not so much with food as they were with packaging, brightly colored brand names, cartoon mascots, designer labels perched next to generic knockoffs. It was a store devoted to creating an identity for food that had been stripped of its identity. Where, exactly, did rainbow-colored, sugar-frosted, air-puffed, marshmallow-infused cereal come from?

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Uncle John's Presents: The Book of the Dumb (Uncle John Presents) by John Scalzi

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